Relationships: Dating in the Social Media Generation

It’s no secret that I am 25 years old.
It’s also no secret that I have yet to be successful in the dating world.
I know. Pitiful, right?

As time goes on and technology evolves, it gets more and more difficult to find a “quality” relationship. The world we currently live in is based off of instant gratification. And if the person you are talking to doesn’t provide it for you, you can find it somewhere else…instantly.

For a hopeless romantic that is into the cheesy things in life, this is not my time to shine, by any means.

Yes, I am in to the cheesy things. I’m talking Leaning Tower of Cheeza, cheesy. (If you don’t get that reference, please stop reading my blog..immediately) I guess you could say it is to no fault of my own that I am into the cheesy.. I grew up in the 90’s/early 00’s. That was the height of Nicolas Sparks! I read every-single-one of his dang books. And quickly fell in LOVE with the thought of a boy being like the ones in those books. SUE ME FOR LOVING LOVE.

So with technology and instant gratification comes the apps. Ugh. Dating apps. Don’t even get me started on Tinder. Yes, I have it. Do I use it for anything other than drunkenly scrolling through the sea of faces? No. I have never met anyone in real life from the app. I’ve talked to a few people, but usually end the conversation when “meeting up” comes up. I also grew up in the age where if you told anything about yourself to anyone on the internet, your mom/dad was going to whoop your butt! (No, not abused. Just knew the rules and followed them. Times were different when I was growing up. And I am thankful for growing up in the time I did because of that.) (ANYWAYS, ADD….) Now it is all about putting yourself on the internet! So it’s a learning curve! I’m working on it. Sort of.

Back to Tinder. When you are judging someone solely on a few pictures and a 3-5 line bio, it makes things hard and your options limited. Hence why I only use the app when I am intoxicated. (Again, I’m 25. I’m allowed to drink. Lay off!) Then you get to the people you know. I have lived in the same area my entire life. So I see a lot of people I know on the app. Yes, one could say, “Well they are on there too..so what’s the big deal?” Because. Just because. It’s how my brain works and I can’t stop it. What is really funny though is seeing the ones you know that have the douche-iest (not sure on that spelling) profiles ever. Then when you match with your stranger of choice, then comes the awkward conversation. Or God forbid the awful message that I received one time, “I’m looking for someone to let me cum in them.” BARF. No thanks, dude. Btw, do you kiss your mother with that mouth?! Blech. 

As technology evolves, it is only going to get worse. So I guess I am going to forever be the girl with her oversized plastic glasses and large iced coffee sitting in a coffee shop, writing her blog. Her blog that has no readers, no followers, or no real theme. Oh well. I prefer dogs to people anyways.

Cheers.

This post was a mess.

Advertisements

Tinder Fails: Round 1

(Ok.. I know I am a day late. Way to stick to a schedule, Brandi… I AM TRYING PEOPLE! NOT LIKE I HAVE ANYONE WHO VISITS ANYWAYS!) 

As I mentioned in my last post, I only scroll (ehhh, more like troll) through Tinder when I am intoxicated. Which really isn’t that often, I promise. Being 25, you realize that you really can’t drink on a Tuesday night anymore.

My Tinder was created by my best friend one night. She wanted me to have one, simply because I was so adamant about not having one. So she took the opportunity one night when we were all hanging out and snagged my phone. Created a profile that I have never edited. That shows you just how serious I am about it. Clearly.

Seeing as how I don’t drink much these days, I also don’t Tinder much either.

But when I do…YIKES.

One of the first (and honestly greatest) fails that I experienced was the lovely gentleman who asked: “Wanna f*ck five army guys in a parking lot?” I added the punctuation. He was too dumb to do so. My response was simply, “Not really on my bucket list.” He didn’t respond. So I guess you could say I really wooed the pants off of him!

I know that Tinder really isn’t meant to be taken seriously.. But would you ever approach someone in real life and say something like that?! I mean, I will definitely troll on Tinder. By that I mean send a funny gif here and there. But that hardly ever happens. I never say awful/vulgar things. That’s just not my style.

But that’s it for this time. That was short, sweet, and to the point.

And late. Let’s not forget late.

Stay tuned. I promise it will get better.

Soon.

-ish.

Cheers,
Brandi

Follow me on:

New Thing…?

So as I was scrolling through countless blogs/vlogs/Tumblr posts, I noticed a sort of “theme” with a lot of successful posters: Consistency. Find a topic you know about and stick with it. Yes, variety is good…but sometimes consistency is key. Also, making and sticking to a schedule.

So that’s what I’m doing. Holding myself accountable and becoming a blogger. [don’t worry, I’m laughing out loud as well] But seriously. A goal of mine for 2018 was to get a better handle on my online presence. So here I am, present!

So my theme is going to be Tinder fails, aka: something I am great at doing! No, I won’t be exposing anyone. Just simply how my “dating life” unfolds. Reminder: I only use Tinder while intoxicated to swim in the sea of faces, so it looks like I’m going to have to drink more! As if I needed an excuse…psh.

I also want to post 2 days a week. I’m thinking Monday and Thursday. Nice and evenly spaced between posts for the most part.

So stay tuned. Please. I would love for people to interact!! I received a few likes on my last post, which inspired me to get back into this! Don’t be afraid to comment with constructive criticism. Or hate. Whatever you need to do.

I also give great advice, so I have been told. So if you need some, hit me up!

Follow me on social media, I love new friends:

Until next time!

Cheers!

Goodness.. It has been a while

It has been FOREVER.
Okay, well maybe not forever, but a really long time..

I have been extremely busy with life. (Imagine that, switching to a day shift at work would cause me to become hella busy..) 

But anywho, life has been busy, but it has been exciting. I got a $1 raise at work. I got a new dog, well, new to me. 10250103_10201696022912243_7941584076408423512_n His name is Vinnie. He is 4..I think. I seriously love this dog so much. 
And even though life has been relatively exciting, there has been a few moments I wish didn’t happen.. Someone in my life has become very into “bad things” in life. We found out my aunt has stage 4 colon cancer..(That’s probably the worst news..) I’ve had a few things stolen from me. (No, not my heart either..) 

But in all, I can’t really complain. My life is great. I have a family that is amazing. I’ve got the best group of friends you could ask for. And I am in good health. 

Okay, that sounded braggy.. I promise that was not my intention..

Four years and it still stings

Four years ago today, I was on the phone with a friend coordinating outfits for an upcoming school trip. We were packing for the state basketball tournament that coming weekend and we wanted to make sure we looked good. Then my parents got a call on the house phone. I remember distinctly, my mother let out a loud cry and I heard the phone hit the floor. I ran downstairs to find my mom and dad scrambling for shoes and jackets with tears in their eyes. I asked what was wrong and they told me, “Uncle Terry collapsed. They rushed him to the emergency room. That’s all we know.” I dropped to my knees and felt the world stop. So as my parents headed to the hospital, I began to pray. I prayed harder than I ever had in my entire life. I stayed up waiting for an update. I ended up drifting to sleep And waking around 11:00 pm. I immediately called my mom and when I dad picked up, I knew something wasn’t okay. My dad said to me,”He’s gone, Pumpkin. They tried everything. His heart was just clogged.” I just cried and mumbled, “Okay. I love you. Bye.” And then I bawled. For hours.
The next few days were a blur.
And then the funeral came. I remember stopping outside the church and telling my mom I couldn’t go in. She, being the greatest mother in the entire world, told me to take my time and she would wait with me. (My Uncle Terry was my mom’s older brother. And the one who introduced her and my dad. So this hit her and my dad incredibly hard) After about five minutes of intense sobbing, I had the courage to enter the church. The first people I saw were my four sobbing cousins. My uncles sons. My cousins and I have always been very close. We were raised like siblings because our parents were best friends. So to see these tough boys sobbing, I broke down once again. I hugged Nicholas (second oldest) for what felt like forever. We just stood crying and hugging forever. When I saw Johnathon (third in line), it was bad. He was a mess. He had just lost his baby girl the year before and now his dad. Again, a forever hug. Then it was time for Matthew (the baby and two years older than me). We hugged longer than forever… Matthew and I have always been the closest because we are so close in age, so we are like best friends. I didn’t hug the oldest, Scotty, until later. He was in visiting his dad one last time.
Speaking of which, that isn’t something I did. I don’t deal well with seeing someone I love in a casket. It makes me go numb. (I know, tough right?)
So as the funeral and burial went on, copious amounts of Kleenex were passed around and many amazing words were said.
Four years later, it still stings. I remember it like yesterday. I still think I am going to wake up one day and he will be here. He was honestly the best uncle you could ever ask for. Always there when you needed anything and a great shoulder to cry on. I was his very first niece, so he and I had grown incredibly close in the 17 years I was blessed to know him. To this day, I want to call him up and talk to him. I still remember his phone number. And when I look at his sons, they all remind me of him so much.
So a I wrap this up with tear filled eyes, I want to say one last thing. I love you forever, Uncle Terry!! You were the best uncle ever. Thank you!


“beauty”

So as I was doing my normal morning routine this morning, it got me thinking.. (When I get to thinking, my A.D.D really comes out..so, apologies) Okay. So my routine in the morning is;
-Wake up (duh)
-Brush teeth and apply whitening strips to teeth (which are uber expensive)
-Wash face (using equally expensive face wash)
-Shower (where I use like five or six different products..)
-Blow dry my hair (again using four or five hair things {I have naturally curly hair, the products help the frizz})
-Apply face creams (Anti-wrinkle cream and serum for face and under eyes.. I am 20 people. Why am worried about wrinkles?!)
-Apply make-up (Lord, don’t get me started in that…)
-Get dressed
-Spray perfume/body spray (Can I get an amen for the ‘Smells like: Juicy Couture’ from CVS?!)
Yes. I do that nearly every morning except when I am sick. Do you realize how much product I use in just the morning?!?! At night, I add about three more things to that list. The cost added up over time is ridiculous. And just think, some women use more than I do..
Beauty companies have us all in lock-down. They have brainwashed us into thinking that what we have isn’t good enough. I’m 20 years old and I buy anti-wrinkle cream for myself.. But what is wrong with wrinkles anyway?! Wrinkles show people that you have lived life and enjoyed it. Yes, I have laugh lines. But wouldn’t you think those are good? Showing the world I know how to smile..? Nope. Not with the beauty industry. And I can rant on this topic because it has hoodwinked me too! I am genuinely mad at myself because I have fallen into the trap.. I pay at least $15 a month just for curly hair products. Products that all claim to do the same thing. And I honestly use the cheapest I can find. (I am not above buying Suave brand..) Walking through the hair care aisle, you can find $40 hair products. WHAT! There is NO reason that hair stuff (other than a haircut..) should cost that much money!!! Agh. I could rant for days.. (I would have to stop ranting long enough to apply my anti-wrinkle cream though..)
Our bodies are amazing. Everyone is different. That is what makes the world a beautiful place. But with the advertising and beauty world, people are all starting to look the same. (Have you ever watched ‘Real Housewives of Beverly Hills’? Literally can not tell them apart..) Even though I’m mad, does that mean I am going to stop using make-up and let my frizzy hair fly free and burn my bra (woah. Where is that coming from?!)? No. I will still wear my eyeliner and mascara. I will still use my hair products. (I will happily wear my bra..) I will do all of this because I have been sucked into the vortex right along with everyone else. I just try to tell myself I haven’t been completely hoodwinked because I use less costly products.
Agh. Okay. I will be removing myself from the soap box.
(I actually have to go wash off my nightly mask and remove my whitening strip from my teeth.)
Told you I wouldn’t stop.

Wagons, bowling balls, and leaves! Oh my!!

Today I got to spend the day with my beautiful baby cousins. Well, I shouldn’t call them babies any more. They are three now and you better believe they let you know they are not babies. We decided we wanted to go on a mini adventure. So we pulled out the wagon and headed out. Oh, let’s not forget the 16 pound bowling ball my cousin Wyatt decided that he needed to bring with. So off we went.
As we go onto the little path to get to the state trail, Miss Julia says from the wagon, “Brani! We lost!!” This statement gets Wyatt’s gears spinning.. “Brani, where we going? We gonna die?” So now I have two 3 year olds thinking I’m taking them down a wooded path to get murdered or something. To save the day, I finally see the state trail. I say to them, “Hop out of the wagon! Let’s see who makes it to the trail first!!” Competition runs deep in my families blood. So they are born competitors. Off the run, giggling away, yelling, “Brani!!! We winnin’!” (Please keep in mind, I’ve got that 16 pound bowling ball in the wagon I am pulling..) We all get to the trail and they want to walk and play with the leaves. Now I am beginning to look like a crazy lady pulling around a wagon with a bowling ball in it.. But no matter. We are having fun and those two are adorable.
Eventually they get tired of walking, so they hop in the wagon. At this point, that bowling ball is feeling pretty light. As we truck on down the trail Miss Julia is telling a story of how she found a ‘kitty-kitty’ on the trail. So that makes Wyatt want to tell the story of how he found a ‘titty-titty’ too. (Found out today the poor boy has a hard time with ‘k’s) More stories of Julia seeing fairies and fireflies and Wyatt seeing bugs and birds.
But, in typical Minnesota fashion, it got colder. So we headed home. It wasn’t the longest adventure, but I honestly had the best time just walking with my cousins (yes, and the damn bowling ball too). One day, they are going to be my age. Then I will be able to tell them all about today. And, to top it all off at the very end of the walk, they both gave me to biggest hugs ever and said, “I lub you Brani!” My eyes only leaked a little.

20131012-180042.jpg I won’t post their faces even though they are family. I haven’t asked their parents permission to do so.